Put a little effort into dressing up for your dates, and encourage your husband to do the same. Just because you’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean you have to stop trying to impress each other. When you’re out together, put your phone away. Focus on actually connecting with each other and having some genuine quality time. Your dates don’t have to be elaborate. If you can’t go anywhere, you could even have a date night at home. For instance, have a candlelight dinner out on your porch or balcony, or turn on some romantic music and dance in your living room.
Flirting isn’t just fun—it has all sorts of other benefits for married couples. It helps boost self-esteem, reduce tension, and increase intimacy. [3] X Research source Get creative with your flirting. For example, you could create a playlist of his favorite love songs, put a box of chocolates on his pillow, or send him a sexy text (even if he’s right there in the room with you).
Every couple has their own special way of being playful together. For example, you might crack an inside joke, talk for one of your pets in a silly voice, or steal a French fry off your husband’s plate every time he looks away. Most guys love it when you laugh at their jokes. [5] X Research source Next time your hubby goofs around or says something that strikes you as funny, go ahead and have a good laugh!
There’s nothing wrong with having routines and rituals in a marriage, but look for ways to vary them. For instance, if you have a weekly game night, try introducing new games occasionally so you’re not always playing the same ones.
Throwing a surprise party for him and inviting a few of his best buddies. Having flowers or a special treat delivered to him at work. Cooking his favorite “special occasion” meal—even if there’s no occasion.
If there’s something you want to try, don’t be shy about telling him. Talking about sex can feel a little awkward if you’re not used to it, but communication is key to having a happy, healthy sex life. Try initiating sex from time to time if you’re not the one who usually makes the first move. He’ll probably be surprised and delighted! Surprise him by putting on some sexy lingerie or wearing a new scent.
Surprise him with a foot rub or a backrub Play footsie Make a habit of giving him hugs and kisses Experiment with different kinds of kisses. A kiss on the back of the neck or the forehead can be just as tender and romantic as a kiss on the lips!
Bring up how those moments made you both feel. Say something like, “Remember the time we went up to the lake by your parents’ place and we both fell off the dock? That was so funny, I’d never seen you laugh so hard!” If you remind him of exciting things you used to do together, you might both feel inspired to try and recreate the fun. For instance, if you used to play poker with your college buddies every weekend, this might be a good time to revive the tradition.
Play board games together Attend sporting events Work out or do other physical activities, like hiking, climbing, or playing a sport together Go to live performances Take a class together
Every celebration doesn’t have to be a big party. You can have a nice dinner together, buy each other cards or flowers, or pop open a nice bottle of wine you’ve been saving.
For example, if you’re both the creative type, you could have a nightly “writers’ club” or “artists’ corner” where you share projects you’ve been working on or brainstorm new ideas. Or, you might have a traditional type of gift that you give each other at each birthday. For example, if he’s a sports fan, you might get him a different piece of memorabilia related to his favorite team each year. Unique rituals that you build as a couple can help you feel closer—it’s something special that just the two of you share.
You’re more likely to actually do something if you set specific plans. For instance, you could say, “Let’s plan to go hiking this Saturday. We can ask my mom to watch the kids. ” Or, “Let’s play that new board game this evening after dinner!”
Saving money isn’t always an option, but there are always fun things you can do for free. Search online for fun, free events or activities in your area that you can do as a couple or family.
Explain how you feel, then give him a gentle request. For example, say something like, “I feel like we’ve been in kind of a rut lately, and I’d love for us to do more fun things together. Could we plan on going out and doing some new things this week?”
For example, make time to go out with friends or family, work on hobbies you enjoy on your own, and do things that you find relaxing (like reading, yoga, or solo nature walks). Having fun and doing things on your own will boost your confidence and sense of wellbeing. The more secure and at peace you are with yourself, the more you can enjoy your marriage.
