In a post on Mumsnet’s Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on December 12, user CanadianInBritain explained she is 38 weeks pregnant and her husband has changed his mind about the baby name they had chosen.
“A couple of months ago, he made a slight musing about not being as confident with our name choice,” she wrote.
“I brushed it off as he was having other baby-related worries at the time and his reasoning was a bit weak (five people started at his work with the name and he was hearing it a lot, and decided he didn’t like it anymore).”
However, her husband is now certain that he wants a different name for their child, but the OP is refusing to budge.
In the poll attached to the post, 90 percent of users (1,765 votes in total) said the woman is being unreasonable by not considering a name change.
What To Do if You Can’t Agree on a Baby Name?
Ruth Freeman, a psychotherapist and founder of parental resource hub Peace at Home Parenting Solutions said choosing a name for your child is “the first of thousands of decisions” that parents will make together.
“It is a great time to think about communication and how you will function as a team,” she told Newsweek. “It is a chance to practice a kind and useful decision-making process.”
To parent together successfully, Freeman said it’s important to be on the same page, but learning to communicate usually takes time and effort.
“A practical starting place would be for each parent to tell the other what their hopes and dreams are for this child,” she said, adding, “They may want to each express what their preferred name means to them in relation to those hopes and dreams.”
Freeman said there are “no wrong feelings,” and by listening to each other carefully, you are more likely to come to an agreement.
“This approach is very much in contrast to arguing right and wrong and trying to pressure our loved ones into seeing things our way,” she said.
If you still can’t decide, check out this list of “America’s most-beautiful sounding baby names,” according to science.
‘Why Would You Share the Name Before Baby Even Arrives?’
In her post, user CanadianInBritain said they’d been set on a potential baby name for “years.” However, her husband is now “100 percent not happy with the name picked out and wants to go back to the drawing board.”
“Issue is, we have been quite open with the name since finding out the sex of our child,” she wrote.
“I come from a family of crafters who have been keen to know the name for a while so they can get embroidering, so now we have family and friends who have spent time making things for her with a name she might no longer have!!”
The OP said she told her husband that it’s too late to change the name, and that he should have said something sooner.
“He has accused me of not taking his opinion into account, and tbh I can’t blame him as that’s exactly what’s happening here,” she said.
“So wise people of [Mumsnet] who is unreasonable here?”
The majority of Mumsnet users felt that the OP was in the wrong, with user Megapint writing, “Of course, it’s not too late.”
“Why would you share the name before baby even arrives?” asked user GreenFingersWouldBeHandy.
“You can’t prioritize not being rude to others over your husband’s dislike of a name,” said Hugasaurus.
“He’s had misgivings for a while which you have ignored and now he’s come out and told you he doesn’t want the name,” wrote Wishawisha. “He’s allowed to say that.”
While Banjoman commented: “Honestly, the crafters will live and breath another day with a name change!”
The OP isn’t the only one to share their baby name drama with the web. A woman was recently berated on Reddit’s Am I the A******? (AITA) forum for calling her sister-in-law’s baby name choices “basic,” while another Mumsnet user recently asked the site for help with her husband’s “crazy” middle name choices for their baby.
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.
If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
