In the U. S. , you can also call or text the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988, or 800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433).
Frequent, prolonged, and/or seemingly unprovoked sadness Lost interest or pleasure in things that were once enjoyed Significant loss of appetite and/or weight Overeating and/or weight gain Disrupted sleep patterns (either unable to sleep or sleeping too much) Fatigue and/or loss of energy Increased agitation or decreased movement noticeable by others Feelings of worthlessness and/or excessive guilt Difficulty concentrating or feeling uncertain Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide, attempting suicide or having a plan for suicide These symptoms may last for 2 weeks or more. They may stop and come back again. These are called “recurrent episodes. ” In this case, the symptoms are more than just a “bad day. ” They are a severe change in mood that affects the way someone functions in everyday life. If your friend has had a death in the family or another traumatic event, she may exhibit depressive symptoms and not be clinically depressed.
If your loved one won’t admit that there is a serious problem at hand, he will have a hard time getting better. Or you can talk to another close, trustable friend or relative about the person facing depression. They might handle these things better.
Don’t start by saying, “You’re depressed. How are we going to deal with it?” Instead, start off with: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been pretty down lately. What do you think has been going on?” Be patient. It takes a while for a person to open up sometimes, so give it as much time as they need. Just try not to let him blow off the conversation.
Counseling psychologists or counselors: Counseling psychology is a field of therapy that focuses on helping skills and helping people overcome difficult times in their lives. This type of therapy can be short or long-term and is often problem-specific and goal-directed. Look for licensed professional counselors (LPCs) or national certified counselors recognized by the National Board of Certified Counselors (NBCC). [4] X Research source Clinical psychologists: These are trained to administer tests to confirm a diagnosis and therefore, tend to focus more psychopathology, or the study of behavioral or mental disorders. [5] X Research source Psychiatrists: These may use psychotherapy and scales or tests in their practice, but are typically seen when medication is an option the patient wants to explore. In most states, only psychiatrists can prescribe medication.
Other professional associations like the American Psychological Association may provide search functions for locating their members in your area. [7] X Research source
If you talk directly with the mental health professional, you might have the chance to tell them briefly about your loved one’s symptoms. But keep in mind that this counselor will likely want to talk to your loved one alone.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): The goal of CBT is to challenge and change beliefs, attitudes, and preconceptions that are thought to underlie depressive symptoms and effect change to maladaptive behaviors. Interpersonal therapy (IPT): IPT focuses on dealing with life changes, building social skills, and addressing other interpersonal issues that may contribute to depressive symptoms. IPT may be particularly effective if a specific event (such as a death) has triggered a recent depressive episode. Psychodynamic therapy: This type of therapy aims to help a person understand and cope with feeling that derive from unresolved conflicts. Psychodynamic therapy focuses on identifying unconscious feelings. [9] X Research source
The most common types are SSRIs, SNRIs, MAOIs, and tricyclics. Names of some of the most widely used antidepressants can be found by searching for antidepressants online. [11] X Research source If an antidepressant alone isn’t working, your therapist might recommend an antipsychotic. There are 3 antipsychotics (aripiprazole, quetiapine, risperidone) and an antidepressant/antipsychotic combination therapy (fluoxetine/olanzapine) approved to be used along with a standard antidepressant for treating depression when an antidepressant alone is not working. [12] X Research source A psychiatrist may suggest trying a few different medications until one seems to work. Some antidepressants backfire on some people. It’s important that you and your loved one monitor how the medication affects him. Take special note of any negative or unwelcome change in mood immediately. Usually, switching to a different class of drug will fix the problem.
Generally speaking, it will take at least three months to see any lasting effect from an antidepressant.
Your loved one would most likely need to give written permission for you to discuss treatments. If your loved one is a minor (under the age of consent), the parent or guardian will have permission to discuss treatment.
Be careful when you tell other people about the person’s depression. People can be judgmental if they do not understand the issue fully. Carefully choose whom you tell.
If your loved one will not talk, try asking a few gently phrased questions. This might help him open up. Try asking how he spent his week, for example. When your loved one tells you something upsetting, encourage him or her by saying, “It must have been very difficult for you to tell me that,” or “Thank you so much for opening up. "
You are not alone in this. I’m here for you. I understand you have a real illness and that’s what causes these thoughts and feelings. You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change. I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help. You are important to me. Your life is important to me.
It’s all in your head. We all go through times like this. You’ll be fine. Stop worrying. Look on the bright side. You have so much to live for; why do you want to die? Stop acting crazy. What’s wrong with you? Shouldn’t you be better by now?
Be aware that your loved one may not be honest about how bad he is feeling. Many depressed people are ashamed of their condition and lie about their depression. If you ask, “Are you okay?,” and he says, “Yes,” think about asking in a different way to get at how he really feels.
Make a point of seeing your loved one as often as you can without overwhelming him. If you’re working, email him to check in. If you can’t call every day, communicate through texting as often as you can.
You don’t have to train for a marathon together. Just try going for 20-minute walk with your loved one. He may feel a little better after engaging in some physical activity outdoors.
Find some uplifting literature for your friend to read. You can read together in a park, or discuss the book. Bring over a movie by your favorite director. Your friend can fall in love with a new range of movies, and you can keep your friend company while you watch. Suggest that your friend try to express his artistic side. Drawing, painting, or writing poetry can help your friend express himself. This is also something that you can do together.
Being there for low-key activities like making lunch or watching TV can make a big difference. You can ease the depressed person’s burden by helping with the small things. This might be running errands, shopping for food and necessities, cooking, cleaning, or doing your loved one’s laundry. Depending on the situation, giving your loved one healthy physical contact (such as a hug) can help him feel better.
This is especially important if you live with the person and find it hard to get away otherwise. Direct your frustration at the illness, not the person. Even if you don’t hang out, make sure to check in at least once a day so you know your loved one is coping. The bigger their support network is, the easier it is for individual members to take time away.
If you have too many personal issues of your own to sort out, you may not be fully able to help your friend. Don’t use your friend’s problems as a means to avoid your own. Recognize when your efforts to help the other person are keeping you from enjoying your life or taking care of the things that matter the most to you. If your depressed loved one has become too dependent on you, that is not healthy for either of you. If you feel that you’re getting seriously affected by your friend’s depression, seek help. It may be a good idea for you to see a counselor yourself.
Hang out with plenty of friends and family members who are not depressed, and enjoy their company.
