If you’re tired of mayhem and misery, this is for ,you. It’s a dose of straight optimism. I have just received my latest edition of the “Statistical Abstract of the United States.” Published by the Census Bureau, it’s full of intriguing facts about America: everything from the share of U.S. households with pets (37 percent have dogs) to the number of libraries (31,167). 1 have scoured it for underreported or underappreciated good news. What follows is 10 trends you can actually smile about.

In 1992, manufacturing output was 39 percent higher than in 1980 and 95 percent higher than in 1970. Things that were hardly made 20 years ago are now produced in massive amounts. In 1991, for example, U.S. factories shipped 10.2 million personal computers. But we need fewer people (18.2 million in 1992) than in 1970 (19.3 million) to make all these things. This greater efficiency is not an economic drag; it releases more Americans to supply other things we want from software to health care.

Hey, it’s no contest. Between 1976 and 1991, Americans won 63 of the 102 awards in chemistry, physics and medicine. The next closest countries, Britain and Germany, had nine each.

Since 1970, the death rate in auto accidents is down one third; cars are safer, more people use seat belts. On-the-job deaths have dropped by more than one quarter (from 14,000 to 10,000) since 1960, although the labor force has doubled. With cancer and AIDS as glaring exceptions, death rates from diseases are down; the decline for heart disease is 40 percent since 1970. Life expectancy is up. In 1991, it was 76 years; in 1970, it was 71 years.

The demise of smoking as a social institution is one of the great events of our era. In 1965, 42 percent of the over-18 population smoked; in 1991, 26 percent did. Casual drug use also is on the wane. Among 12- to 17-year-olds, marijuana use is down from 23 percent in 1979 to 13 percent in 1991. We’re eating better. Compared with the late 1950s, we eat 11 percent more protein and 44 percent more vitamin E per person. Meanwhile, cholesterol intake per person has declined 14 percent.

Airlines may be losing tons of money, but they must be doing something right. In 1987, passengers lodged nearly 41,000 complaints with the government. About half involved flight delays or cancellations. In 1992, complaints totaled only 5,600.

For all the talk of family breakdown, roughly seven of 10 children under 18 live with both parents. The rate is highest for whites (77 percent), lowest for blacks (36 percent) and in between for Hispanics (65 percent). The number of divorces has actually dropped slightly from the peak year, 1981 (1,213,000); in 1988, there were 1,167,000 divorces.

The air is a lot cleaner than it used to be. Since 1970, lead emissions are down 97 percent; particulates (soot, smoke) have dropped 61 percent and hydrocarbons 38 percent. The record in energy use, though not as good, is still impressive. Homes built in the late 1980s use nearly 30 percent less energy than those built in the 1950s. In 1991, cars got an average of 21.7 miles to a gallon of gasoline, up from 13.5 mpg in 1970. Population and economic growth have offset some efficiencies; still, total energy use in 1991 was only 4 percent higher than in 1978.

Whatever’s wrong with us, it isn’t deterring foreigners. Since 1985, the number of overseas tourists has more than doubled, to 14.7 million, in 1991. Two fifths are from Europe; Japan sends more (2.9 million) than any other country.

About a fifth of adults do volunteer work. Of these, 37 percent work for churches and religious groups, while 15 percent work in schools. In 1991, we gave $125 billion to charities. Most ($103 billion) came from individuals. Americans now give more of their disposable income to charity than in 1970.

In 1992, the typical new home had 1,920 square feet, up from 1,385 in 1970. Three quarters had central air conditioning, compared with only one third in 1970. Over the years, there’s been a constant shift from smaller to larger houses.

The message from all this is not quite what you think. It might be that, amid all our national pessimism, we must be doing something right. It might be that the press, preoccupied with the latest social pathology or political scam, is missing deeper social trends that more directly affect most of us. It might even be that our much-maligned government actually succeeds once in a while (note the lower pollution and greater auto safety). The message might be all of these things; but it isn’t.

The real point is that good news is boring. I mean: how much more of this can you stand? Do you really want to know that the share of public schools offering computers rose from 18 percent in 1981 to 98 percent in 1991? Hey, the “Statistical Abstract” is also crammed with lots of bad stuff. In 1991, there were 1.8 million reported cases of child abuse and neglect involving nearly 2.7 million children. Now, that’s real news.