You probably have friends who don’t share your same opinions, too. Just because you don’t agree on everything doesn’t mean you can’t get along with each other.
You can stop a lot of pointless arguments by saying something like, “Well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree” or, “I can tell that this means a lot to you, and I don’t think either of us are going to change our minds. Let’s just pause the conversation here. ”
Suggest compromises by saying something like, “I can tell that we both feel strongly about this. Is there a scenario where we both feel okay about the outcome?” Or, “Could we talk about a compromise? I think we can both get what we want if we just talk this out. ”
For instance, maybe you need more alone time. You might say something like, “Honey, I love spending time with you, but I need some space to recharge on my own. ” Or, if you’d like to stop arguing so much, you might say, “I want to have conversations with you, but I’d like us to have civil conversations. Let’s agree to stop the name-calling and the yelling as much as possible. ” Try to use “I” statements as much as possible. For instance, instead of saying, “You always get so angry at me,” try, “When you get upset and raise your voice, I feel scared. ”
It can feel strange to bring up issues from the past. However, if they’re still affecting your current relationship, it’s important to talk about them. You might bring something up by saying, “Honey? I know this happened a while ago, but I’m still upset about what we went through last month. Could we talk about that a little more?”
People may be able to change small things about themselves, like when they go to sleep or how much junk food they eat. But the big things, like their morals and their values, may never waver.
You might say something like, “Thanks so much for cleaning up the house today, babe. I had such a rough day at work, and it was so nice to come home to a clean space. ” Or, “Dinner was delicious. Thanks again for cooking; I really needed a break after today. ”
If you don’t already have something that you both like to do, try something new together! You could take a cooking class, try a pottery workshop, or play frisbee golf. You could also sign up for an exercise class, join a community garden, or create a book club together.
Write your husband a letter that describes everything you appreciate and love about him. To go the extra mile, read the letter out loud to him. [11] X Expert Source Maya Diamond, MARelationship Coach Expert Interview. 17 January 2019. You could also try flirting with each other around the house, reminiscing about your wedding night, or trying out a fancy new restaurant. Make your bedroom extra romantic by setting up setting up candles and putting on some nice music. [12] X Expert Source Maya Diamond, MARelationship Coach Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
For example, if you want to talk about the upcoming election but you and your husband disagree about politics, you might want to call a friend instead.
You may also want to try individual therapy for yourself. If you’re struggling, a therapist can help you work through your emotions and find coping skills that work for you.
